Darkelve Posted July 7, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 (edited) Mandrake is a commercial alternative to M$ Windows as well. Accordingly they could use similar types of commercials (yes I know advertising is expensive) to promote their product. (In reply to ipithus post) Edited July 7, 2004 by Darkelve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gowator Posted July 7, 2004 Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 THIS IS A SPOOF Saving the free drinks Microsoft today made tremendous cost savings which have had its staff worrying needlessly for months. The Redmond rag reports that Microsoft employees have been threatened with paying for beverages which Microsoft has traditionally provided free. A Microsoft spokesperson today confirmed that in order to sponsor uncle Bills computers for the third world initiative it will be charging employees for water, parking and deskspace..... However all of this was saved when Microsoft finance wizards pulled out their trump card. Microsoft employs 88,500 people worldwide and by switching to opensource applications could save at least $500 per employee... giving over $44 Million savings almost instantly. On top of this staff can be expected to be more productive by not having to reboot there PC's every ten minutes. "Why eat your own dog food when you can eat steak for free" said the finance wiz, I Vegan. Vegan as asked if this would not be bad publicity for the company that they dont use their own software - "heck we have been running our web servers on opensource OS's for years whilst telling our customers to use IIS I don't see why this would be negative for the company and our stockholders will surely see benefits soon" We asked if they saw any downside to switching to opensource.... "Well we have spent so long polluting the web that many sites are only available to windows users, we literally poured millions of dollars into making the web a MS only place and now many of the sites of our best customerswill be off limits to us - but every cloud has a silver lining, we have been practically giving away technology to subvert the internet and now we will save on that too." Asked how Microsoft plan to spend the extra money Vegan had some definate plans... "Its quite exciting really, we'll be paying for some independent studies to proove Microsoft is cheaper than linux and also we can subsidise free windows for companies that already worked out for themselves that linux is cheaper, that way we can lock em in for the future" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkelve Posted July 7, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 (edited) My casual attempt at a parody commercial: - The screen is divided into two blocks. Each block shows a desk in a computer store, where a client is asking information from a salesman for a new PC purchase. The Right block shows a salesman (Richard) pushing a PC with Linux preloaded to the client (Trish); he has a friendly faces and modern glasses. The left one (Steve) is pushing a PC with windows to his client (Josh); he looks like Steve Ballmer. One block blurs out as it focuses on the currently active block. *** Left Block *** Steve: you want to buy a computer. Josh: that's right. Steve: well, I've got just the right thing for you. With Windows XP pre-installed! Want me to put it in gift wrapping for you? *** Right Block *** Richard: So you want to buy a computer? Trish: that's right. Richard: All of our computers come pre-installed with Linux. We've got different brands of Linux for different purposes. For which tasks would you like to use it? *** Left Block *** Josh: What software does it have? Steve: Well, it's got the fantastic Internet Explorer, so you can surf the Internet. Then there is also the cool Windows Media Player to play video files and finally the very professional Microsoft Word to type your letters. And Outlook Express to check your mail. All very advanced! Want me to pack it for you? Josh: That's it? Steve: well eh... it also has Notepad, Wordpad and erm... Microsoft Photo Editor. All, erm... top-of-the league programs Josh: No CD burning? Steve: no, but you can buy that seperately. Josh: Nothing to make spreadsheats? Presentations? Steve: you'll need Microsoft Office for that, you can buy that seperately. Josh: Accounting software? A sound editor? Games? Steve: well, there's patience for games, minesweeper and pinball. You can buy the others seperately. Josh: File sharing software? Steve: Sharing is evil. *** Right Block *** Trish: well, I want to surf the internet, check my mail and watch video Richard: For the internet, there are Mozilla, Mozilla Firefox, Konqueror or Galeon. For email there is Kmail, Evolution and Thunderbird. For video there is mplayer, xine and still others. All included of course. Trish: Sounds confusing, I really only need one app for each. Richard: Firefox for browsing, Thunderbird for mail, Mplayer for video. You cannot go wrong with these. If you don't like them, there's lots of alternative programs you can try out if you want. Trish: What about CD burning, spreadsheets, presentations, accounting software, a sound editor, games. Richard: All there. All included of course. Trish: File sharing software? Richard: amule, edonkey, bittorrent, lots more of them. Trish: but isn't file sharing illegal? Richard: no, it is not. As with everything, it depends on how you use it. *** Left Block *** Josh: About Internet Explorer. I read the Department of Homeland Security says to stop using it because it's too insecure. Steve: Internet Explorer is not the problem. It's the users that are the problem. Josh: but the department of... Steve: the department DON'T KNOW JACK! (standing and balancing on a circus ball now) Steve: look, the Internet is a dangerous place. If I make the mistake of not balancing carefully on this ball and fall off, then it's not the fault of the ball, NOW IS IT!? Josh: but there will be other attacks like this no? Steve: Not once we catch the criminals who did this! Then, the internet will be safe once more. In the meantime, you can download the patch. It will be available within two months month. Josh: But surely they aren't the only ones responsible for this? Steve: yes they are! I'm telling you, all will be well soon. Trust me. Josh: And what do I do in the meantime!? Steve: Pray. Or don't use the internet. *** Right Block *** Trish: I read there were a lot of attacks on the internet in the last weeks. Is that true? Richard: Yes, but the problem is Internet Explorer. In fact the browsers we provide are much more secure and don't suffer from these problems. You will be able to browse the web and check your mail with peace of mind. Trish: say, why is that guy over there standing on a circus ball and screaming? Richard: Beats me. *** Left Block *** Josh: So let me get this straight. I get a computer with only a couple of programs on it, with which I cannot safely go on the internet at this moment? And before I can actually use it, I have to buy a ton more software? Steve: Yes, but... our product is the best! And it's so advanced! See, it has all these nice wizards and colors and animated paperclips and cats and dogs! Try to find that somewhere else! *** Right Block *** Trish: So let me get this straight. I get a computer with thousands of programs on it, at no addittional fee? And besides that, I can surf the internet and check my email with peace of mind? Richard: All included... Trish: ...of course. Richard: So what do you think? Trish: I'll take the Linux computer! *** Left Block *** Steve: ... so? Josh: I'll take the circus ball! "Linux - the answer is clear!" Edited July 7, 2004 by Darkelve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AussieJohn Posted July 7, 2004 Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 Magnificent Darkelve. Simply love the punch line. Would make a great Advert. Considering how pervasive the Internet is, maybe someone could make a video of the idea and make it available for us all to circulate it around . That would be advertising Linux the WWW way now wouldn't it ????? (But make it in a common format so that it can be played on a Windows or Linux platform) Cheers. John. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gowator Posted July 7, 2004 Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 anon.... do you have any more cups ??? how about a MUB competition for the funniest MS spoof as determined by say a 24 hour voting ??? if we dont have afree mug then we can always give away a years free membership of MUB .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkelve Posted July 7, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 (edited) anon.... do you have any more cups ??? how about a MUB competition for the funniest MS spoof as determined by say a 24 hour voting ??? if we dont have afree mug then we can always give away a years free membership of MUB .... Gowator, you've already got one year of free membership on MUB. Don't get greedy :lol: Oh, and AussieJohn, you think we could convince Ballmer to play in it? :lol: :lol: Edited July 7, 2004 by Darkelve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AussieJohn Posted July 7, 2004 Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 Hello Darkelve. Nah. Ballmer couldn't balance anything let alone try to balance on a ball . Let's face it, a feat like that would require skill and talent . When he did his monkey dance I bet even the monkeys were laughing and saying "just who is this talentless idiot or is he just a throw back to our far distant ancestors ??? ". Cheers. John. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iphitus Posted July 7, 2004 Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 Linux - The future is open. And if you feel like laughin at MS, theres some top stuff here. http://alt.venus.co.uk/weed/humour/gates30.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwiftDeath Posted July 8, 2004 Report Share Posted July 8, 2004 Darkelve.... thats a pretty descent commercial, but it may be a little long. The average user doesn't pay attention to adds normally for more than 10 seconds so you have to make your points fast. I can't remember where I read that, but I beleive its true. Most webusers have also programmed themselves to ignore banners and pop-ups. I am one of them, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkelve Posted July 8, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2004 (edited) Darkelve.... thats a pretty descent commercial, but it may be a little long. Well, I think you're right. But i'm the kind of person that enjoys watching 8-hour movies or reading 5000-pages books (well, if they're good of course). By the way, SwiftDeath, did you know that with Opera, you can disable the animated gif banners? The banners are still there, only the animation won't play! :) Edited July 8, 2004 by Darkelve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramfree17 Posted July 8, 2004 Report Share Posted July 8, 2004 if we dont have afree mug then we can always give away a years free membership of MUB .... no we cant. only mandrakesoft can do that. gramps/paul can grant lifetime membership to MUsB if somebody wants it. ;) create a flash animation of darkelves' plot. then release it in slashdot. ciao! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkelve Posted July 8, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2004 (edited) create a flash animation of darkelves' plot. then release it in slashdot. ciao! I'd love to have a Flash animation of that! Unfortunately, my Flash skills are rather basic, not to mention rusty... But if you put it on slashdot, then I guess it would be better to use Bittorrent or Gnutella... :P Edited July 8, 2004 by Darkelve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gowator Posted July 8, 2004 Report Share Posted July 8, 2004 would be cool i found a linux flash generator last night...after an urpmi update.... cant remember what it was called but soulse ??? how about it... shared work you and darkelve , be really funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramfree17 Posted July 8, 2004 Report Share Posted July 8, 2004 hey,we have an arts and design forum right? give the task to those *weirdos* lurking out there. ciao! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkelve Posted July 29, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2004 (edited) Steve: look, the Internet is a dangerous place. If I make the mistake of not balancing carefully on this ball and fall off, then it's not the fault of the ball, NOW IS IT!? Did anybody notice the "subtle" humor? I choose the image of a circus ball because, just like Windoze, it is not a safe/stable *platform* to be on (which is the real core of the problem). I guess it's not immediately obvious... so does anyone want to try a video or a flash animation? Edited July 29, 2004 by Darkelve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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