Jump to content

When "fact" is funnier than "fiction"


Gowator
 Share

Recommended Posts

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/clic...ine/5326654.stm

 

This comes after

It would be like

"man chooses not to get infected by anthrax"

 

Postal room worker Joe Doe chose not to get infected by anthrax today, even though it was free. He had a packet labelled military grade anthrax delivered to his post room and was going to open it and breath it in when he called his Dr.

His Dr. recommended that anthrax was particualrly dangerous and that even if he survived he would be suffering the after affects for the rest of his life.

 

Representatives at athrax corp say they can't understand the decision, they were willing to give him the anthrax for free and sell him there own pharmacuticals at a very competitive price.

 

"We can't understand some people" said Gill Bates head of athrax crops marketing. "We offered our own anti-viral" products for free in the bundle.

 

Joe doe's MD, Dr. Linus commented...

Anthrax is a bacteria not an virus, anti virals have no effect on it and Joe Doe would have been forced to subscribe to third party pharmacuticals.

 

"Some people are just pananoid and have it in for anthrax corp" said Gill Bates, "we usually charge for this product but were willing to give a trial for free, when people choose not to trust us we find it very inconveneint"

and

Ooh dunno, I know that you can get free samples of anti-virals from lots of places but they only ever give you the first part of the course then you have to pay to finish the course. I wasn't aware of a threat to Linux though, I thought that they had a mutant gene made them almost impervious to viral infections?

 

Anyway, I got pretty concerned by all this so I decided to email Gill Bates, apparently she doesn't answer Emails but a helpful support person called mail-bot was really helpful.

 

"Dear Mr/Mrs Gowator: I am taking the time to send this highly personalised eMail in place of Mrs. Bates who is currently shooting an advertising movie called Pyscho II. Thank you for your concern and viri and our products, we can assure you anthtrax corps products are the safest in the world and the only ones which meet the Pentagon's stringent QC standards. Indeed products exist to combat viri in our system which do even not exist in loonix and other systems.

Many people's concern over viri is unfounded, it is a normal part of development to be infected by viri so that our bodies native systems can build immunity. How can these other systems be safe when they have no aquired immunity to different viri which can mutate and cause infection in previously immune systems?

 

We urge you to try some of our world class products with a full money back guarantee (so long as the seal is intact) such as BirdFlu and BirdFluII its popular sucessor.

We believe once you try these outstanding products your life will never be the same without them and you will want some of our other products like BirdFluII vaccine which we offer at very competitve prices.

Your sincerly mail-bot"

 

but the BBC article beats both of those...

Indeed I can't see where to start pulling it apart....

Perhaps the revolutionary idea that vista will not give unfettered access to the filesystem?

Perhaps "[The new] Internet Explorer is not able to write to the main areas of the file system, it can't overwrite Windows," said Microsoft's Stephen Lamb.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...